How many times have you tried doing this:
You immediately send someone a friend request on social media, particularly Facebook, or perhaps even on LinkedIn.
Then immediately you ask them “What are your biggest struggles with getting results right now?”
“Have you ever considered hiring someone for (the thing you do)”?
“Where do you see yourself in 12 months?”
You ask these types of things believing you are “engaging” with them and sneakily trying to discover their particular pain points so that you can come along and hit them up with your “solution”.
However, it turns out they’re not as dumb as you thought. In fact, they already know every one of the tricks of the trade you proceed to try, and using this approach backfires on them.
Does this describe you or does it happen to you all the time?
You see, when I see your friend request and go to your Facebook profile, I have a few “trigger words” that, if I see them, I know what to expect and am ready for you. Like Forex Trader or Buttcoin Specialist. Perhaps you’re an “online marketing guru” or “funnel hacker”.
I’m not at 100% expert level with my prophetic gifting, but I’ve seen over and over again a few of the same red flags and I know how to recognize when a pitch disguised as “wanting to know a little bit more about me and my business” is coming.
You see, the reason I don’t continue with the conversation unless either I’ve not had my coffee yet, I’m in a playful mood (or both) is that you’ve not earned the right to ask me something and because you have no idea what my ideal client looks like, or what my values and goals are.
You didn’t ask me about me first.
This shows me that in your eyes, I am just dollar signs and a “potential client” to be sold and spoken to as if I was your next paycheck.
You look like this dog:
If you have something important to offer, don’t let your first impression make people want to block and unfriend you.
I receive invitations to connect on Facebook and LinkedIn quite frequently. I accept all the invitations I get since I’m an author and us writers build our audiences in whatever suitable way we can. I figure if someone turns out to be a spammer or a jerk (or both) I’ll just delete them or unfriend them later.
It amazes me how often people immediately invite me to have a call or propose something to me before they’ve even asked me any probing questions. Nowadays, I respond to out-of-the-blue pitches with “what do you know about my business?” or “how do you know I need [what you’re offering]?” or “was the only reason you sent me a friend request to invite me to your group or like your page?”
Here are four things someone can do to build trust on LinkedIn and Facebook which will go a longer way to receiving permission to share your services from “Relationships Are Better than Transactions” by Brian Kennedy:
- Make the relationship about the other person, not you. You may be interested in you, but the people you connect with are not. They are interested in themselves. You must first prove to them why they should be interested in you; and that comes only by being interested in them.
- Be a giver. Oh, I’m not talking about giving someone a copy of your book, a study you did, or a training program you have all so you can get their email address and market to them. No! Give them a copy of your book or give them access to some of your knowledge or contacts in good faith. You will build trust.
- Don’t sell. Transactions here and there are not worth alienating professionals who have the network to help you soar. Once people know you well enough to know why you do what you do, they will be happy to help you do more of it and to help you achieve all that you want to achieve.
- Keep Zig Ziglar’s mantra, “You can have everything you want if you just help enough other people get what they want,” in mind at all times.
Is there anything I’ve not mentioned that you would add to this?
In the meantime, let me say it again: don’t be a leg humper on social media.
Since posting this article, I’ve had MANY teachable moments in my inbox that I’ve decided to take screenshots of and post here in an album of examples of what not to do. For example, don’t try shoving me into your Sales Funnel if I literally just accepted your friend request.
May 19th, 2021 edit in the “I didn’t write this” category: